LARRY WIND:    (SUNG TO THE TUNE "THE SUMMER WIND")  President  1985-86.

A LARRY WIND CAME CRUISING IN, FROM ACROSS THE TOWN.    HE DROVE A FORD, CONVERTIBLE THUNDERBIRD,    A TWO TONED BROWN.

ALL SUMMER LONG, HIS TOP WAS DOWN AND HOW THAT CAR IT FILLED WITH RAIN.         HARDTOPS ONLY NOW FOR LARRY WIND.

WOLTZ AND WIND SALES, BETTER THAN ZALES, THEY WERE FLYING HIGH.  THE CARS WERE NEW EXCEPT A FEW PRE-OWNED O-FIVES.  THEN FASTER THAN THE CASH FOR CLUNKERS PLAN, ONE DAY INTEREST RATES FELL.  I LOST THAT SALE, I LOST IT TO THAT LARRY WIND.

OH, MY GREEN GREMLIN AND THE MATADOR, THEY HAVE COME AND GONE.  AND OH, THOSE DAYS, NOSTALGIC DAYS THEY GO ON AND ON.  AND GUESS WHO DRIVES HIS SPORTY RIDE UNTIL THE ASH TRAYS ARE FILLED...... HE'S FLORIDA'S NEW FOUND FRIEND......OH, THAT LARRY WIND!!!

VOTE LARRY WIND.....YES, LARRY WIND....... VOTE LARRY WIND.

TED KATZ: ("HEY,TED" Sung to the tune of "Hey,Jude").  President:  2010-2011

HEY, TED, KEEP US OUT OF THE RED....        TAKE A GREAT CLUB AND MAKE IT BETTER,     REMEMBER, THAT JOHN HAS ALL OF YOUR FUNDS....         PLEASE RESPOND TO THOSE DISTRICT LETTERS.

TED KATZ, DON'T BE AFRAID....     BE DECISIVE, GO ANNEX GREENTREE,     THE DISTRICT WILL NEVER NOTICE THEM GONE.....    MERGE AND BE ONE, TIL' THEY DISAGREE.

AND ANY TIME YOU FEEL THE STRAIN, HEY, TED, RETRAIN.         DON'T CARRY THE CLUB UPON YOUR SHOULDERS,   WELL DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IT'S A FOOL WHO PLAYS IT COOL....       P.E.T.S. HELPS IF YOU READ WHAT'S IN THOSE FOLDERS.

HEY, TED!  IT'S NOW YOUR TURN....     AND IN TWO WEEKS YOU'LL FOLLOW DIANE,     REMEMBER, TO DO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN.....      JUST AVOID FIRES AND THE FRYING PAN.

TWO MEMBERS OUT, NINE MEMBERS IN, HEY TED, BEGIN.....      RECRUITING NEVILLEWOOD'S BATHING BEAUTIES,     AND DON'T YOU KNOW THAT ITS NOW JUNE, HEY, TED, REAL SOON.......      ADD POOLSIDE BOARD MEETINGS TO YOUR LIST OF DUTIES.

HEY, TED, WE'RE HERE TO HELP....   TAKE A GREAT CLUB, GIVE IT DIRECTION,       REMEMBER, AN EYE CHART MEASURES YOUR SIGHT........       BUT IT'S WHAT IN YOUR HEART THAT WILL GET OUR ATTENTION.

DIANE KARCZ CAMPAIGN SONG. (Sung to the Beatle's "Drive My Car")

I ASKED DIANE WHAT SHE WANTED TO BE.      "CLUB PRESIDENT, CAN'T YOU SEE?,       I WANT TO BE FAMOUS AND SO VERY TALL.......   BUT DAMN THAT GRAVITY AND NEWTON'S LAW"!!!

WON'T YOU VOTE FOR DIANE KARCZ.....   SHE PARTY'S LIKE THOSE RUSSIAN CZARS,     SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN A FRIEND OF OURS......        AND BABY, WE LOVE YOU.

I TOLD DIANE THAT MY PROSPECTS LOOKED GOOD.....      THREE YOUNG HOT LADIES FROM NEVILLEWOOD,        "WE NEED NEW MEMBERS", SHE OFTEN WOULD SAY,      "BUT WHY DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE TINA FEY"?

WON'T YOU VOTE FOR DIANE KARCZ......   FOR HER, I'M GONNA NAME A STAR,    STAR REGISTRY FOR DIANE KARCZ.....    AND BABY'S THAT'S TWELVE BUCKS.    WE'RE CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP, YEAH!

WON'T YOU VOTE FOR DIANE KARCZ......     SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN A FRIEND OF OURS,    WON'T YOU VOTE FOR DIANE KARCZ........    AND BABY, WE LOVE YOU.

I TOLD THOSE GIRLS THAT DIANE IS A NURSE.        THEY SAID,"GALLAGHER HEALTH SERVICES, WHERE'S THE HEARSE"?,           YOU BETTER NOT SAY THAT.....   QUIT TALKING THAT SMACK.....      CAUSE DIANE'S FAVORITE SONG'S "THE BITCH IS BACK".

WON'T YOU VOTE FOR DIANE KARCZ.....   YOU KNOW SHE IS A FRIEND OF OURS,    WON'T YOU VOTE FOR DIANE KARCZ........ AND BABY, WE LOVE YOU.   

WE'RE KNEE DEEP DEEP, YEAH!   WE'RE KNEE DEEP DEEP, YEAH!   BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, YEAH!

DAVID BROSKY:   (Sung to the tune of "On Broadway" by the Drifters). President 2008-2009.

THEY SAY THAT HE'S A JUDGE'S SON, DAVE BROSKY.  (DAVE BROSKY)  THEY SAID THAT HE WOULD NEVER BE ON TIME, DAVE BROSKY.                                                            

I KNOW THEY'RE RIGHT, I KNOW THEY ARE.....'CAUSE DAVE CAN PLAY THIS WEIRD GUITAR, IT'S CALLED A STICK AND NOT A SITAR, DAVE BROSKY.    (DAVE BROSKY)

DAVE SAID HE'D LOVE TO HAVE BEEN A STOOGE, DAVE BROSKY.  (DAVE BROSKY)      PERFORMING SLAPSTICK WITH MOE, CURLY AND LARR.  (DAVE BROSKY) 

WELL, FIRST HE'D HIT YOU WITH A CREAM PIE, AND THEN HE'D POKE YOU IN THE EYE,   AND CERTAINLY CALL YOU A WISE GUY.   (THAT BROSKY!)

I KNOW THEY'RE RIGHT, I KNOW THEY ARE,   'CAUSE DAVE CAN PLAY THIS WEIRD GUITAR,    AND DAVE WON'T QUIT 'TIL HE'S A STAR, ON BROADWAY.......AVENUE.....IN CARNEGIE.

NO, DAVE WON'T QUIT 'TIL HE'S A STAR, ON BROADWAY.....AVENUE.....IN CARNEGIE.......

NEAR PAPA J'S......  (IT'S ON BROADWAY)     THE MASONIC HALL...... (IT'S ON BROADWAY)          SUNOCO GAS....... (DAVE'S ON BROADWAY)   UH......THE DOLLAR STORE.......(VOTE BROSKY)   (VOTE BROSKY)

(SLOWLY FADES INTO THE TUNE OF "GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROADWAY")

GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROSKY...... WHEN YOU SEE HIM UP AT NEVILLEWOOD.    GIVE MY REGARDS TO DAVE BROSKY.......(PAUSE FOR PUNCHLINE)   JUST KEEP HIM OUT OF MY NEIGHBORHOOD !!!

SUE KELLY:  ("ROTARIAN SUE" Sung to the tune "Runaround Sue" by Dion.  President 2007-2008.

(SUNG SLOWLY)   HERE'S THE STORY OF SUE PERROTT.   MARRIED RAY KELLY, WHEN SHE WAS A TOT, GOES TO FLORIDA, WHENEVER SHE CAN......   JUST DON'T CALL HER A ROTARY- ANN.

(FAST)  AH....HERE'S THE STORY OF A GIRL I KNOW.    SHE HAS A BROTHER, HIS FIRST NAME IS JOE,  TONIGHT'S HONOR IS WAY OVERDUE,     A VOTE TODAY FOR ROTARIAN SUE!

IF YOU HAVE A JOB THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.......   A DISTRICT CONFERENCE OR LOOKING FOR FUN,        WHO ELSE CAN BUY YOU NICE EIGHT DOLLAR SHOES?   A VOTE TODAY FOR ROTARIAN SUE!

AH, SHE LIKES TO TRAVEL AROUND, YEAH.....  SHE LOVES TO SHOP ALL OVER THIS TOWN,    NOW JACK AND GEORGE WILL SET YOU WISE.....       MARCIE AND SUE, GET THE BEST BUYS....

HERE'S THE MORAL AND THE STORY FROM A GUY WHO KNOWS.......   THEY'RE EVERYWHERE BUT A STORE CALLED LOWE'S,          NEW YORK CITY CAN'T HANDLE THESE TWO, THEY'LL SAY....  VOTE TODAY FOR ROTARIAN SUE!

AH, SHE LIKES TO TRAVEL AROUND, YEAH.....       SHE LOVES TO SHOP ALL OVER THIS TOWN,        NOW PEOPLE LET ME PUT YOU WISE......        SUE'S SHOES, START TO MULTIPLY!

HERE'S THE MORAL AND THE STORY OF THE "SHOE THAT FITS".....      WHO'S ORGANIZED AND JUST NEVER QUITS,       MADAM PRESIDENT, I'M TELLING YOU, THEY'LL SAY.....    VOTE TODAY FOR ROTARIAN SUE!

"THE ERIC KISH EXPRESS":   (SUNG TO THE TUNE OF CROSBY, STILLS AND NASH'S "MARRAKESH EXPRESS".   PRESIDENT:   2005-2006.

LOOKING AT THE WORLD THROUGH THE SUNSET IN YOUR EYES......   TRAVELING BY CAR THROUGH CLEAR CARNEGIE SKIES....   PAFF AND KATZ AND GIFFINS CALL,     SEE ROTARIANS IN NEPAL, MENDENHALL'S PASSING OUT "SPROCKETS" ON K-2 !

ERIC SAYS NEW MEMBERS ARE ALWAYS ON HIS MIND.....    CARNEGIE NEEDS THEM, IF ONLY HE COULD FIND....    START THE SEARCH THAT LIES AHEAD,  GO TO CHINA, JUST LIKE RED......    BRING 'EM BACK AND YOU'LL REDUCE YOUR DUES!

DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE RIDING ON THE ERIC KISH EXPRESS.   DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE RIDING ON THE ERIC KISH EXPRESS......   HE'S TAKING US TO BANGLADESH !!     KEY BISCAYNE......DUQUESNE......  GOT A GIRL!  .......FROM SPAIN !

I'VE BEEN SAVING ALL MY MONEY JUST TO TAKE YOU THERE.....    I THOUGHT SOUTHWEST HAD LOW AIRFARE.      TOOK THE BUS FROM ALIQUIPPA GOING SOUTH......   EATING ONION RINGS UNTIL I BURNED MY M M M M MOUTH....   

THOSE ORANGE CONES ARE EVERYWHERE.....   SAVE A PARKING SPOT WITH A CHAIR,   THE BLACK AND GOLD WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL .....    WELL, LET ME HEAR YA NOW !

DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE RIDING ON THE ERIC KISH EXPRESS...... DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE RIDING ON THE ERIC KISH EXPRESS...... BECAUSE HIS IDEAS ARE THE BEST!

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW WE'RE RIDING ON THE ERIC KISH EXPRESS.....  HE SELLS INSURANCE LIKE GEORGE ADAMS....RICHARD HESS.....   HE TAKES APPOINTMENTS BY REQUEST......  

 ALL ABOARD THE TRAIN......  NO MORE FLOODS AND RAIN...... ALL ABOARD !

"CHRIS GREEN":  (Sung to the tune of The Eagle's "James Dean")  PRESIDENT: 2000-2001

(ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO TO BEGIN)

CHRIS GREEN, CHRIS GREEN, CARNEGIE C.P.A.       CHRIS GREEN, CHRIS GREEN, CARNEGIE C.P.A. WELL, YOU'D GET MY VOTE IF YOU COULD GET ME ON A BOAT WITH THOSE HOOKERS OF CHARLIE SHEEN'S.

YOU WERE A SCHOOL BOARD MEMBER UP AT CARLYNTON,  HE HAS A HOUSE ON PURITAN.... CHRIS GREEN.... CHRIS GREEN.....  SAID IT ALL SO CLEAN,  BUT YOU'D GET MY VOTE IF YOU COULD GET ME ON A BOAT WITH THOSE HOOKERS OF CHARLIE SHEEN'S.

WELL TALK ABOUT A CLASSY LIFETIME ROSSLYN FARMER, YOU WENT TO BUCKNELL FOR SCHOOL. SOCK HOP,JOHN'S HIS POP, BASKETBALL, THE CORNER SHOT....DRIVES A FORD TAURUS AND OBEYS ALL THE RULES....

CHRIS GREEN,  CHRIS GREEN...... A HOOK SHOT LIKE KAREEM'S.   CHRIS GREEN, CHRIS GREEN.......... HE MAY HAVE USED BRILCREAM..... BUT HE'D GET MY VOTE IF HE COULD GET ME ON A BOAT WITH THOSE HOOKERS OF CHARLIE SHEEN'S. 

(BRIDGE)

HEY, THERE CHRIS GREEN.....IT'S APRIL 15,  PUTTING UP WITH ALL THOSE RULES.... LIVING WITH THREE WOMEN, SINKING OR SWIMMING, LEAVING UP THE TOILET SEAT CAN REALLY BE CRUEL...

CHRIS GREEN, CHRIS GREEN....ROTARY PRESIDENT.    CHRIS GREEN, CHRIS GREEN.... ROTARY PRESIDENT.   WELL, YOU KNOW YOU'LL BE FINED WITH THIS 1099....CAUSE I'M FEELING REALLY CONFIDENT.  AND YOU KNOW HE'LL DO FINE BECAUSE HE'S YOUR FRIEND AND MINE.... CHRIS GREEN FOR PRESIDENT.......

(GUITAR SOLO CLOSING).